Post reading – All My Sons – Page 116, Ex. 1

Dear dairy,

Today we are going to my dad's funeral. I still can't believe he killed himself, I didn't foresee it.
my soul is broken, it is all mixed  up, all the emotions. Anger, sadness, guilt, shame, relief, a feeling of justice that is done, a closure. I'm confused and afraid of what will come next, I don’t know how to continue my life. I loved him but he disappointed me, I feel no hate for him, he will always be my father, I'll remember what he did but I will not forgive him.

My mother told me that I must forget and that I must continue with my life. She's not better than him, she knew about the crime my father committed but she decided to keep it a secret. As I'm mad at my father I'm also mad at my mother. They thought they were protecting me from the truth, (but) they hurt me, my heart is broken, and all I knew was a lie. I discovered that my brother killed himself because of our father's crime. I loved my brother, I miss him very much.

After the funeral today I'm going away, I'm leaving the house, my neighbors, this neighborhood and my love, Ann. Ann has no place with me, she needs to forget me. I can't live with her, I won't bare to look at her eyes after what we (had) discovered. I'm going far away so I can start a new life. I'm not looking back, I want a new start.

For all the people I'm leaving behind, I hope they will be able to continue with their lives, I hope they will find happiness, I hope they won't forget and that they will learn the lesson and make their lives much better. I hope that each one of them will find his way back to his normal life, I want them to remember and to continue their lives. I would like each and every one of them to be a better person, then I'll  know they learned their lesson.

Excellent!
(100)
Daphna